You Killed Wesley Payne by Sean Beaudoin - Guest Post

Guess what? I was reading You Killed Wesley Payne and the main character, Dalton Rev, decided he wanted to talk to you guys. He stopped by The Brain Lair this morning with an introduction and a few rules.

 So let's give a warm welcome to Dalton Rev!

 ::applause::



Hey. I’m Dalton Rev. Pretty much the main character in the new book You Killed Wesley Payne. You can call me Dalton. Or, you don’t really have to call me at all. Unless you need a problem solved. Then I bet you’ll get my digits somehow. Yeah, that’s what I do. Solve problems. Got a bully hassling you? Someone steal your Trig final? Happen to find a body wrapped in duct tape hanging from the goal posts at the end of the football field? I can transfer to your school and take care of it. In and out. Nice and discreet. Of course, it’s going to cost you a fat packet of folding green. And by folding green, I mean cash money. Yeah, I’m a Private Dick. And here’s the three most important Private Dick rules:

The Three (3) Most Important Private Dick Rules:

1. Never let anyone mess with your ride. On the other hand, feel free to mess with theirs, especially if there’s a chance they’ll be chasing you in it later.

2. Avoid beautiful girls. Helping beautiful girls out of tight situations never comes to a good end. Continue to charge maximum fees and take lots of cold showers.

3. Tough guys are only as tough as you’re inclined to let them be.

4. Be nice to your mom.

5. If you’re going to carry a weapon, drive a scooter, smoke a cigar, wear a leather jacket, or have an unusual haircut—make sure it’s big and mean and intimidating. Especially the cigar.

You Killed Wesley Payne is a murder mystery. Who killed Wesley Payne? You did. Probably. Either way, I’m onto you. So don’t be surprised if there’s a Dalton-sized shadow looming up on your doorstep soon. Oh, yeah, those last two rules are free, this time.

Your Pal,

-Dalton Rev


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