I've been staying up way too late because I can't relax.
Constant headaches.
Can't keep up but won't accept help.
I've been here before.
About 8 or so years ago, I would get up and I would dread going to work. No particular reason why. I was at a fabulous elementary school with a super staff. I loved, and still do, love those people. It wasn't them, it was me.
Weirdly, I'm always looking to change these up and work. But, if it's a huge deal, I avoid the change. And that's what I was doing. There was a job opening in the library at the middle school but I didn't feel qualified. In my heart, I've always to own a bookstore and even though I could see this would be a great stepping stone, I didn't want to leave my comfort zone.
So someone stepped in and changed it from a comfort zone.
Now I'm in he BEST.JOB.EVER. I work with an incredible staff who have supported and encouraged me and believed in me. And that's not just the principal!! I am blessed.
But, that feeling is back. It's been here for about a year. Even though I only started to give it a name.
There is something I want to do. Something.
else.
I'm slicing it up with Two Writing Teachers for the month of March. The goal is to write something each day in March.
Good for you that you have an awareness of your current situation. It is easy to ignore those signs, but you are aware, therefore, you are more likely to move forward and make the changes that will work for you. Best of luck in sorting things out.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIt seems like you are confident that change is what you need. Perhaps the change doesn't have to come in the form of a new job or a different location. Have you considered revamping how you approach your day? Your blog header says you are a librarian. Are there ways that you could change how you interact with the students and or the staff? Even adding something small like a weekly book chat with other co-workers could be the change you need to spice up your slice.
ReplyDeleteJennifer, trust me, I've made many changes at work! This year I'll be hosting a Ted-Ed club.
DeleteThat feeling. Wanting, needing something.
ReplyDeleteWhen I have felt that and changed positions it has been an incredible uplift. My brain thrives on the steep learning curve of a new situation. I feed on novelty and have developed a real taste for challenge.
This is in opposition to my rational self who argues it is simply too much work to change.
I commend your honesty with yourself.
I trust you'll watch and write and see what is stirring in your spirit. Thank you for reminding me of something intrinsic to my career as an educator.
That's exactly it, the soul says yes but the head says, are you insane?
DeleteWhat an honest post and I commend you for going public with it. Good luck with what your future should offer and bring to you.
ReplyDeleteMe too!!! Good luck - I hope you find it - I hope WE find it actually. Wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteWe can do this!
DeleteThis feels so cryptic, but I'm excited to find out what you have in the works!
ReplyDeleteHa, me too! I'm scared!
DeleteKathy - I understand that feeling. I get to places where though I might like something I feel like I lost my edge and need to mix it up, take a risk, or try something new. Hope you find what you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteYes, staleness is present. At least for me!
DeleteYeah, things can feel stagnant until they change without your permission. With the way our district funding is going, I am just glad when I wake up and have a job! Ever since I read Kavafy's The City in college, (http://www.cavafy.com/poems/content.asp?id=58&cat=1) I've come to realize that I never really need to change my circumstances, I need to change how I feel about them. Sometimes, that's the only thing we CAN change. Food for thought!
ReplyDelete